who the fuck am I!!!!!

 What do 1 person do? I rally am so confused and so fucked up, wondering where I am? What the fuck!!!How the hell, what is wrong what is right?? Who is right What is right? Who f *@king right!! Who is right, What the fuck is going on in this stupid fucked up life of mine.. OMG 50 years old an still in love of just a bit of life a bit of rec, What the fuc is going on ? Life can be cruel , life an be sad , pathetic & many emotions I cant even understand.... Hopefully 1 day  I will... Jolly bean jim!! WTF!!!How ever decided to be a honest to anyone that has a  true honest

Amelia & Bentley

 The world can be unfair, that without a doubt. I'm so unsure just living in confusion every day, however I'm seriously so sure that life is slipping away, and the time has come, and I really need you guys to know that I do think of you and wonder who you are and what life is like for you I really sit and wonder! I better you are both just beautiful.... So amazing!! No doubt, thanks to those wonderful people you know and except as yr friend & someone in the future can be there, just our family... Nou Nou hopes that they really are that thank you for your kindness & understanding no one could ever say different. The one thing I do hope is you did receive the love & care that all children deserve I really do, I can't wait to be your friend and a person that is worthy of your love, respect & understanding! without a doubt I will cherish & adore you forever.

Life is what we choose... Rise above

WTF>>>> Where to now.......                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                ./kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk                                  xzbnssssssssssss

Cruze,for you & Ace, Laylah, & Milly....Nou Nou Loves you...

 You are so special, The sweetest child a grandmother could imagine. you smile lights up my life up every time I see that sweet smiling face,on videos atm, OH how cruel, how words are just in such disarray, confusion just really not knowing how I can come to be able to comprehend or how I can live with the thought I should have seen the signs 4 goodness how the hell did I not see those signs. I really am in such a way, I now have a wall I hide behind in regret, disgust, anger lost...so many more I miss you I love you. I will have you in my life with your baby brother Ace, and your 2 sisters, Laylah & Milly. Cruze, Nou Nou loves you all so very much please know this.You are so presious...